Today

Here,
Now.
It is the moment you have.
Read: pick up a thought and leave your mark-
Make a difference

28.12.09

RIP

The death of a true friend always hurts
The tears dry, with the chilling ice of frosted years.
It slaps you in the face,
The truths of the many nevers to come.
Never see that smile again,
Never hear that laugh
Never hold that hand that held you through

The death of a loved one never dies
It lives on,
Lingering in the shadows of your mind.
A constant reminder of the dark lonely days to come.
Changed dreams, the paths of your nightmares cross your fantasies
Jabbed in the way are new memories made.

The end of love never fades
When the one, is the none,
One can never see another.
Walk back to the times hand in hand
And the sweet memories awaken the bitter realities

Nothing hurts like losing you.
My friend
My family
My love.
The hardest thing, is the best for me
Keep living without you.

You forgot me.
Easy
Too easy to have been love

26.12.09

Greatest Men

Few of them walk the earth
Heads held right,
Many strutted across the country
Deluded by the size of their nothingness
What makes a great man?

Some are the first to rule,
With the same fist many before them have,
They dwell in a shell painted with the chocolatey goodness
None of the ghosts before wore.

Some were the only ones to bear
The labours women do
Pushing through to bless with life
They have changed the life gifted to them

Others were the first to place their foot
Where no man was created,
Nor placed by Him
A place that supports none of His form, breath nor image

Some were born in a skin they shed
To die in one they bought
Others lost their freedom
To liberate their nation.

What makes a great man?
Innumerable qualities define him as great,
If you see
the way he shows the meaning of his love.
You would agree.

30.11.09

Kind Forgiveness

Yesterday I wiped my tears,
To wipe my pain
I wiped your sins
I made you walk away unscathed
While my scars bled open till they caked closed

Today, I accepted your unspoken apology
I felt what I thought you had to say, and told myself
I made it alright for you to do
It all
and walk
live,
move on,
Leaving me stuck in the spilled blood.

Tomorrow, the blood I swam in dried me
The liquid life saw my death in its veins
As my silent truth drowned out the music of my heart.
Tomorrow I come back to this kind forgiveness
Yesterday's lie
Lives in today's truth
As now I see that my healing doesn't come
Without your pain.
To laugh again
I need to see you cry.

16.11.09

Something New

Make something new today before the day expires
The death of it looms outside my window
With the lullaby for the sun
Turning stale wheels
The cranium hurts with exhaustion
The fresh dews smell of death
As the fall of the season births the end of happy warmth

Today so quickly perishes
To welcome the promise of the new gift
Something new
I put together
A new joy,

A new meaning for those three.

3.11.09

Beauty

The image lied to her face
Showed her the truth not within
She looked.
Stared harder and tried to uncover
What was in the hidden revelation

As useless as the hidden lamp
Lighted to be chased away by dark,
Her beauty meant nothing to her
What use was it, if it could not be seen?

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder
All those who behold her might as well be blind.
Her beauty cannot be seen.

only felt

28.10.09

Size Matters

Once told that It stretched far, and wide,
Cat immediately dried its mouth.
Its desire was gone,
Its wants were not there
Not that she wasn't greedy,
Or did not want the biggest there was to have

But,
Size matters when its advertised.
Skill, rates performance,
But pomp before play is arrogance.

Size matters when It is the wrong kind of big.

23.10.09

In Depth

Once overheard a conversation between Head and Heart
One Soul could not fail to watch
Eavesdropping on the deepest concerns
The Two battled it out
This way and that
Answers to questions unasked
The Soul couldn't beat at the Heart
She couldn't tick by the Head

But Soul knew that long after both
She would carry on and on and on

8.10.09

NOW

A gift that so quickly passes.
A fleeting moment soon to be remembered
Not to last forever,
Now is always here
It soon passes to remain present.

Once gone, it is before.
Before can either be celebrated or mourned
The difference is in the appreciation,
Use
and advantages taken of the gift.

7.10.09

Rooted

In today's world when fighting for one's country means fighting against humanity i choose to stand for the wrong.
For we once were told to fight for "what is right", sacrifice big to gain something everlasting
And we stood for what was right and lost ourselves.
We lost our people.
We lost who we were
Even while standing in freedom, we are captives of our past

So now, when asked to stand by who is right,
I choose to stand for the wrong
Just so, maybe,
I can save myself and those who will stand with me
We will have our country to call our own.

2.10.09

Empty of Nothing

Today,
Writer considered,
Pondered,
Wondered...
And prodded the folds of her mind
Of what thoughts to share,
But there were none.
The hollowness of her thoughts screamed louder than the most deafening silence
It kills to see how little we have to give, when the gifts we offer are most precious
to ourselves


Writer searched through the nothings,
Throwing out everything there
Each thought too precious to give
Till she gave up.

Out came the truth: All she had to give

15.9.09

Inspired

There are moments that make it
The ones that cant be forgotten:
Baby's first steps
Lovers' first kiss
I do.

Tiny milliseconds amassing to a milestone
Lived, relived, remembered, unforgotten
A change,
A new beginning:
A beggar's millionaire moment
An addict's clean break

As deep as a virgin's first tearing heartbreak
Purer than true love
The first three magic words
The night I opened my eyes,
And saw my friend for the first time,
I knew who you were then.

Today It has been shown once again
Like those moments you spoke the truth
That this
Is more than just
The truth like that night in January showed

I need to keep my diamonds safe-
The night thief gives no warning before he strikes
I consider myself more blessed than the usual victim.



You are truly the best.

8.9.09

It Goes

Tomorrow drives by
In a car so fast, it looks like today
No!
That was yesterday
The gift becomes the memory
Of time never regained.

I wonder what my future yesterdays will be like.

23.8.09

Homeless In Love

Cuddling, sweet talking the two cooed at each other
Making puppy dog eyes and giggling
No love scene is ambiguous,
Even when it is to the players in the movie
A theatrical scene easy to interpret
These two were in Love.

It mattered not
The senselessness of time wasted
And opportunities milled by
These two had each other, and nothing much else

Alone, they were surrounded by the world
Money,
Life and shoppers
In their home, they had the privacy of onlookers
Most who found this more than strange
Under the hot summer sun, their bodies should have been heating up

With their yellowed teeth, their breaths should have gagged them both
Kiss
Smooch
LOVE
Not begging,
Not sad,
Not wondering
Not caring.
Barely clothed
Caked with months of dirt
They were in complete bliss
Uncaring of what they missed.

My boyfriend will say, it is all that matters- the three words that change the world. The Lord says, it is the strongest and most important of virtues. Starry eyed girls wish and dream and hope.
Why did I want them to stop wasting their time?

21.8.09

My Life

The things I wonder about, are the things that change and the ones that dont. The ones that make a difference and those that matter little. The things that scare and inspire me to desire something else. The ones that make me want to change the world, and then wonder what that kind of change will do to the world.
My fears, my dreams, my beliefs and my aspirations are all the same. They keep me awake at night.
My fights, my battles, my triumphs and failures are equal; they teach me everyday.
My life, my experiences, my thoughts, my actions and the consequences live together as one; I regret none.
In the wisdom breathed by the words of my first, "You can control your actions but never the consequences of your actions."
I wonder, in my hope of tomorrow, am I ignoring the reality of yesterday?
In forgiving the mistakes, am I ignoring the possibility of them repeating?
In enduring the pain, am I denying my life of happiness and brigther Joyful days?

Questioning stills faith.
Live
Breath
Learn
Love.
In, out, with and about people.

18.8.09

Lies Awaken

She lies awake,
The lies awaken her blind soul.
Mind's turning churn, slowly peels the skin off the truth
There! Lies beneath
She thought she had the one
The best,
Hunting was her worst sport and the worst game hunted her
Poison seeping in through the epidermis of her inner soul
In penetrates her whole-
Now,
Only,
Again.
Stop,
Start.
Begin to see
To feel..
To know..
To love; not all but,
But first, then.
That is only when
Loving will spill out to the right one.

14.8.09

In Another Man's Words

The validating words strung together by others
Is a well received gift, worn to prove
That we were right about ourselves.
And our unspoken thoughts;
Hopes only,
Till they are said by another
Become the truth

13.8.09

Saved

Exonerated! Free!
Mercy on my soul
Living liberated by the payment of Another
A step above;
A lot better, than the other
The greatest sin of the blessed, is their belief in their own righteousness.

11.8.09

Curt

Dissatisfied.
The tone rings in her ears,
Announcing the life of the moment's death
Done
The minute passes quietly
But the scream of the pain deafens her breath
Dying
She wonders what the next moment's emptiness will fill like
Deed
One step, one motion, one way or another,
She continues to mourn her death,
And she has to live with that
Destroyed
The reality of now, renders the fantasy unnecessary
Defeated
The warm wetness, overtakes her shoulders and they shake uncontrolled
Defied.
She refuses the slavery of the moment
Determined,
She takes on a will full breath

Too short,
Too sweet,
Too abrupt,



Teased, then tossed

29.7.09

Countless

One, Two, three
You,
She
We

In our lives, there is never just
Never you
Never me
Never alone in a world of loneliness

In the darkest secrecy of the private we are entitled to
There is the one,
the two,
the few we share our lives with.

thank you for not leaving me with me.

Deep Within Her Eyes...onward

....she wondered where it led. Race cars bursting with thoughts zoomed around the contours of her mind, as she ruminated over the truth of her being. Born one early night to a waiting mother, she had been a prize at birth. As any market good apart from wine, her value diminished with time, and soon, her age rendered her worthless.

The hollow image stared back at her, mimicking her blinks and breaths; a dark and empty use of skin, blood and very little else. The windows to her soul were open to no view, but wait...there was a glint which had not been there before. It was the weakest glow of the newly blown out candle flame. The persistence of a strong gush of wind propelling the hurricane to destroy the town. A light so dim, it should be waning, but with the arrogant pride of the strongest beast it stays alive, and threatens to never die. A blood curling warning to the very thought of extinguishing it. The lighted rear end of a measly firefly, with the surety of a lighthouse towering above life ending rocks, atop an iron strong house of stone that fights the worst of rocky shore sea storms hailed with howling salty winds.

22.7.09

It Is

What makes you worthy is not just the light
It is not the skin
Nor is it your smile
It was never the way you look at me
I know it couldn't have been your gift
In your hand you melt pain
You annihilate anger
You fill rooms of laughter
With joy of hearts

It is not your soul
It is not your imagination
You build a world of diamonds
From the ashes of the dead embers
It is not the flame
Alight in your heart
Nor is it your spirit, your will to win
It could've been all you can do

It could be all you have done
It can easily be where you are going
The path of greatness reached and kept
Not your sudden flight
Nor your toil at night
It can be your family
The strong foundation
Of a concrete womb that craddles you
Feeds you
and molds you to the man you are.
Of all it's not and could have beens,

Who you are, above all else.

It is....
the space you leave, when you are gone.

9.7.09

Stop

Step one, step two, step three, stop!
Stumble, wait regroup bounce.
Fumble, hold, slip withhold
Exposing no uncertainty the rookie hides his expertise.

Behold!
He knows no failure, no error, no shortcoming
The only one who's lost
Is the man on whose hands he sits

He chose regrets, over avoidance
Wisened, learned, known, using chance

8.7.09

WIDE-EYED

He whispers sweet nothings to the baby,
Her ears swallow the fibs with the honesty of innocence
He knows the sugar filled dreams she has
Her reality, she finds in him: what she thought was fantasy!
Craddling eggs, he prances around the glass of her heart,
Padded feet of a lion make no sound,
But in his mouth, his teeth tear through skin, flesh and muscle

Porcelain doll, wide eyes cannot shut to the world
But they only see the dreams of the ornamental world
He promises her dreams, her thoughts he sees.
It is easy to read the mind of a child: flowers, sweetness...
The depth none can drown in

Garnished in beauty her jewels about her
Gaurded from prowlers, only to award the thief who asks for it
The bleeding heart, body and mind
Purity ends, her life begins.
Creamy, shiny polished ceramic shatters with the fall from cloud 9
A woman is born.
Life begins
The wide-eyed never see the truth till they have lived it.



2.7.09

Arise the Dead in Me

It is 2:51 in the friggin' morning!

The train rambles by, jolting the skeletons of the houses in the neighbourhood it trashes through
Silver bug, is rudely shaken to consciousness and begins his high pitched scream
On without losing its breath, the alarm screams
Till death bestowed on the car battery grants the stillness of the night
Its gentle rest, willed by heavy bodies slowly churning in discomfort between the sheets

Dear midnight train to Alabama,
Would you be more polite please?

6.6.09

DEEP WITHIN HER EYES

The water trickled down, sprinkling across her back; drops of water surfing on her curves. Then colliding with other drops, the stream of water rushed down. They are a mob of rebellious polar molecules, abandoning ship and disappearing down the drain.
She calmly played with the sponge, inhaling the peach scented softness of the lathery silk. She wondered where the story would end. Mistakes slammed behind tightly secured doors, only to be pried open by her memory.
Physical proof that she had lived and learned: she chose to take the step. She had chosen a long time ago, but it was harder for her to decide if she would do it right.
Her life was a story to be told, cherished and lived with. Her tragedy of a triumphant life, was one she couldn't help but be an audience to. Decently decorated with male involvement punctuated by one first love and one great love, she grew to know how she needed to be loved.
She smiled at the thought of him, seeing his brown eyes before her. He was not her first, but he surely was the greatest. The journey that led her to him changed, but continued with him, and now.....

2.2.09

Making it Love

In the mix of feelings and emotions
Things get hurt
In the mix of hearts and spirit
Things get broken
In the mix of virtue and dreams
Things get stolen

And all the innocence vanishes
A life is snuffed out as one begins
The flame is lit to kill the cold
As the flame dies to birth the chill

In the mix of "I love you"s
and "All I need is you"s
People fear loneliness
In the mix of start anew
and life together
People find hope
And in the mix of hate and anger
People find that they really cared.

It only moves the things it once touched
It only knows the places its once been
It only needs the things its never learned to live without
Like it only changes the things it has the power to
the influence over
And the ones that let it.