Today

Here,
Now.
It is the moment you have.
Read: pick up a thought and leave your mark-
Make a difference

5.12.15

Healing

I can’t wait till time takes an eraser to my heart,
And rubs out your name, etched on my mind.
 I hope the hangover of life vomits you out of me
 And I step over the puddle as the past pools on the ground,
Wetting the earth beneath me,
You will seep into the depths I cannot see.
I hope I learn to breathe easy
The knots of your ‘fro no longer lumping in my throat
Welling tears behind my eyelids; the sight of you two together
Stings as it blurs my vision with moistened salt,
And regret clouds my soul
How did I lose control?
I am waiting for Mother Time to massage salve
Onto my pain,
Her healing hands will bring me solace
And I will finally be able to take control of this nonsense-
My heart shall no longer race when I see you look at me
Your smile shall no longer steal my breath and my cool
Your presence shall no longer color my cheeks,
Sweat budding under my arms and in my palms
The base of my locks itch and my skin tingles
You lick your lips and mine water,
Delicious desire pools in my mouth and
I shall no longer long to suck on the sweetness of your lips
Nor dance to the rhythm of your laugh
Your voice makes me warm
I know I was not good enough for you
But I cannot wait till you

No longer are, for me. 

23.11.15

In Adequate



As my tears drown my vision,
Reality floats to the surface.
The truth hurts of the pain felt,
Cuts my flesh so deep
It hits the hidden core of emotions
And bores a hole
Through the being
Who seizes to exist.
But the hurt alone,
Transcending
Myself and merging into me
I disappear into my anguish
Consuming my other
My before
And Now
I cannot breathe
I cast my eyes to the scars reopened by today’s injuries
I sob
Into my soul
Yesterday’s tears long evaporated by resolve
Though the barbed wires around my heart
Hold my cries hostage,
I feel every single sensation

Of plain old rejection. 

19.11.15

Toxic Tea

This is my addiction,
I need a line,
A string of moments in your presence,
I will sniff you in,
And as my pupils dilate
I will feel you seep into my bloodstream
Invigorating,
You will fill me up
And charge my mind
I need you to start my batteries
The spark that warms my insides,
Fills me with the hope of living
You’ll brighten my day
And I can function again.
An energized fog,
My senses are awakened by you
I can hear,
I float…
I can feel
I sense the things in my world,
Hallucinations and reality tango in my mind,
My eyes deceive my brain
It hoaxes my truth
I am at home...

My skin itches without your touch,
A hankering I can never assuage with a scratch
I could peel my epidermis from my bones,
Savagely separate flesh from skeleton,
Defragmenting my self
I seek to sever out the emotion
That shackles me
To this longing

An overflowing shot glass of your soul
I will throw my head back
And feel you burn my throat
As you drip down
Your fire blazing within me
The comfort of my stagger
As the world begins to sway
The swing of life
Destabilizing the confusion in which I exist...

This is the cup of warm toxic brew

This is you. 

16.11.15

Brew

I know I don't even have you,
But I miss you.
To never had,
nor never held,
But I feel the void of you gone.

I know your heart was never here,
but my fingers feel empty
As if your beating heart
Just slipped through them like the sands of time,
I count the minutes
That tick by
As I lie here
Imagining what it would be like
To be wrapped up in the envelope of your embrace,
I miss you.

Home

...I am an African woman
You see my hair,
The colours that dance around me,
wrapped by the beauty of my home,
I stand proud.

I know you watch my hips,
Your eyes dance to the rhythm of the sway of my curves,
You imagine the ways that I can serve
your thirst,
your hunger

Our land was raped of its precious jewels,
You sold us the goods that we gifted to you
My home is bludgeoned by the images of flies on the lips of dirty little children
with moistened eyes an a hunger that scratches the insides of their bellies...